Courtship and marriage in Tudor England facts for kids

Courtship and marriage in Tudor England (1485–1603) was a very important step for people. It was seen as the move from being a young person to an adult. Marriage often involved not just the man and woman, but also their parents and families.

People from the lower classes had more freedom to choose who they married. However, for middle and higher classes, marriage was often about making the family richer. It could also help a family gain a better position in society or create strong connections between families.

Marriage for Different Social Classes

Higher Classes: Wealth and Power

For noble families, choosing a spouse was mostly about money and power. It was common for parents to arrange marriages for their children far in advance. This helped make sure the match was good for the family's standing. These marriage talks were not private. The whole family, relatives, and even the community were involved. This was because families wanted to keep their status and pass down their wealth.

This led to a practice called endogamy. This means people only married others from their own social group. For example, Sir William Locke only allowed a suitor to marry his daughter after seeing his financial records. This showed the suitor was wealthy enough.

Dowries and Jointures

Before a marriage was announced, families would discuss the dowry. This was money and goods given by the bride's father. The groom's father would also provide a jointure. This was like a pension that guaranteed the bride money and property if she became a widow. This financial safety was on top of what her husband would leave her in his will.

Eldest Sons and Younger Brothers

In Tudor society, the eldest son usually inherited most of the family's wealth. This system was called primogeniture. Because of this, eldest sons often married in their early twenties. They had the job of continuing the family line and wealth.

Younger brothers often received much less money. This meant they usually married later in life. They had to earn their own money first to support a family. If they didn't marry, they could still live comfortably as gentlemen.

Women's Role in Marriage

For women, marriage was very important for their social standing. Women were generally seen as less important than men. They were expected to marry and be obedient wives and mothers. Women depended on their husbands for money and safety. For instance, Elizabeth Howard's father-in-law promised her several estates as her jointure.

Parental Authority

The Fifth Commandment, "Honour thy father and mother," was taken seriously. Children were expected to accept their parents' marriage plans. Even if parents died, they often left instructions in their wills about who their children could marry. For example, in 1558, Michael Wentworth's will stated that disobedient daughters would get a smaller dowry.

However, some young people did disobey their parents. In 1594, Thomas Thynne and Maria Tuchet secretly married.

Middle Classes: Balancing Wealth and Choice

Marriage arrangements for the middle class varied. Families who owned land faced similar pressures as nobles, but less intensely. They still planned marriages to keep and pass on their wealth. Dowries and jointures were common, but they were worth less than those of the higher classes.

Children in the middle class had some say in their choice of spouse. However, they rarely married someone from a lower social class. One account from 1514 tells of a girl who married a man she disliked. She said she did it "only for the fear of loss of my land."

Like the higher classes, younger sons in the middle class often had to earn their own living. They might move to new towns to find work. The eldest son usually stayed home and inherited from his father.

Lower Classes: More Freedom, Later Marriages

Children from poorer families had more freedom to choose their partners. Between ages seven and fourteen, poor children often left home to find work. They might become servants, farm laborers, or apprentices.

After saving enough money to support a family, they could choose whom to marry. However, this meant marriage was often delayed. They had to work and complete their training first. The average age for marriage among the poor was in their middle to late twenties. This allowed couples to be financially ready to start a home.

Women in these families often supported their husbands' work. Some continued to work as servants or wet nurses. Women were expected to manage the household and have children. It was also important for them to have good domestic skills.

Families of the lower classes had less reason to interfere in marriages. They didn't have much property or wealth to exchange. This meant dowries and jointures were not a big concern. So, marriages among the poor were more about personal choice than family decisions.

Courtship: Getting to Know Each Other

Courtship was a time for couples to get to know each other. They would develop feelings before deciding to marry. The idea of courtship was often linked to what money or property each person could bring to the marriage.

Gifts and Witnesses

Exchanging gifts was an important part of courtship. A man might give coins, trinkets, or clothes to the woman he was trying to impress. These gifts were not just personal. They were often given with witnesses present. This was important if a marriage contract was made. For example, William Hanwell gave two pennies to a go-between to give to his partner. This ensured there was a witness if a contract was made.

Sometimes, couples would express their agreement to marry during courtship. This could lead to an instant marriage. In 1519, William Hanwell and his partner exchanged "present consent." This made them married right away. The woman later tried to challenge this marriage. But two witnesses confirmed their consent, making the marriage legally binding.

Gift-giving could continue after marriage. Robert Mindum, for example, made and engraved objects from animal horn and bone between 1593 and 1612. He gave these to his friends and his wife, Jane Mindum.

Marriage Ceremony and Law

Crying the Banns

Before a church wedding, couples had to announce their intention to marry. This was called 'crying the banns'. It happened on three Sundays in a row. This allowed anyone with a reason to object to the marriage to come forward. A common objection was a 'pre-contract', meaning one person was already promised to someone else. If there were no problems, the Church would give its blessing.

The Wedding Day

On the wedding day, the couple arrived outside the church. The priest would begin the service there. The couple promised to be together "until death do them part." The woman also promised to obey her husband. The man would place the ring on the Bible to be blessed. Then he put it on the fourth finger of the woman's right hand.

After the priest blessed them, they were declared husband and wife. Then, they entered the church for a special mass. The couple would kneel before the altar with a veil over their heads. The priest would say prayers, then remove the veil. This meant they were officially married. The day would continue with celebrations, including a wedding dinner and dancing. For poorer couples, guests might give gifts or help with the 'bride ale' (a wedding feast). To make sure a marriage was legally binding, the priest and witnesses might even go with the couple to their bed. This provided proof of the marriage.

Age of Marriage

In 1556, the Common Council of London raised the legal age of marriage to twenty-one. This was because too many young people were marrying too early and couldn't support themselves. The Act of 1901 also helped increase the average age of first marriage. It allowed officials to apprentice poor children from age ten to twenty-four. This delayed their chances of marrying. Even though girls could marry at twelve and boys at fourteen with parental permission, it was not common.

Marriage Contracts

There were two main types of contracts that made a marriage legal.

Present Consent (per verba de praesenti)

This contract involved a direct exchange of promises between a man and woman. They would say, "I take thee as wife/husband." This was a very strong commitment under church law and could not be easily broken.

Future Consent (per verba de futuro)

This contract was based on a promise to marry in the future. The couple would say, "I promise to take thee as wife/husband." This contract could be broken if both people agreed.

It was very important for both types of contracts to have witnesses. This way, courts and lawyers could recognize the couple as legally married. Witnesses had to be present during the promises. For "future consent," they had to be able to tell what they saw and heard.

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