Perfectionism facts for kids

Perfectionism is when someone believes they can, and should, be absolutely perfect. People who think this way are called perfectionists. For them, anything that isn't perfect feels wrong or not good enough.

While wanting to do your best can help you achieve amazing things and give you lots of motivation, always aiming for perfection can sometimes be unhealthy. It can lead to problems like procrastination, where you put off tasks because you feel you can't do them perfectly. This can make it hard to get things done, leading to low productivity. Perfectionism can also make you feel bad about yourself and cause anxiety.

What is Perfectionism?

Perfectionism is more than just wanting to do well. It's a strong need to be flawless and to avoid any mistakes. A perfectionist might set extremely high standards for themselves, often higher than anyone else would. They might feel that if something isn't perfect, it's a complete failure.

This way of thinking can apply to many parts of life. It could be about schoolwork, sports, art, or even how you look. The main idea is that there's only one right way to do things, and that way is perfect.

The Two Sides of Perfectionism

Perfectionism isn't always bad. There are two main types:

• Healthy Perfectionism: This is when you aim for high standards and work hard to achieve them. You enjoy the process and learn from your mistakes. You feel good about your efforts, even if the outcome isn't absolutely perfect. This type can help you grow and succeed.
• Unhealthy Perfectionism: This is when the fear of making mistakes or not being perfect takes over. You might feel constant pressure and stress. You might avoid trying new things because you're scared of failing. This type can lead to negative feelings and problems.

How Perfectionism Can Affect You

While aiming high can be good, unhealthy perfectionism can cause several difficulties for young people.

Procrastination and Productivity

One big problem with perfectionism is procrastination. If you feel a task must be perfect, you might not even start it. You might think, "I can't do this until I know I can do it exactly right." This can lead to putting off homework, projects, or chores. When you delay tasks, your productivity drops, and you might miss deadlines.

Stress and Anxiety

Always trying to be perfect can create a lot of stress. You might constantly worry about making mistakes or not meeting your own high standards. This constant worry can lead to anxiety, which is a feeling of nervousness, fear, or unease. You might feel anxious before tests, presentations, or even social events.

Self-Esteem and Confidence

Perfectionism can also hurt your self-esteem. If you believe anything less than perfect is a failure, you might often feel like you're not good enough. Even if you do well, you might focus only on the small flaws. This can make you doubt your abilities and lower your confidence over time. You might compare yourself to others and always feel like you fall short.

Dealing with Perfectionism

It's possible to manage perfectionist tendencies and find a healthier balance.

Set Realistic Goals

Instead of aiming for absolute perfection, try setting goals that are challenging but achievable. Break down big tasks into smaller, manageable steps. Celebrate your progress along the way, not just the final perfect outcome.

Learn from Mistakes

Everyone makes mistakes. Instead of seeing them as failures, view them as chances to learn and improve. Think about what went wrong and what you can do differently next time. This mindset helps you grow without the pressure of being flawless.

Focus on Effort, Not Just Outcome

Appreciate the hard work you put in, not just the final result. If you tried your best, that's something to be proud of, even if the outcome wasn't exactly what you imagined. This helps build resilience and a positive attitude towards challenges.

Talk About It

If you're struggling with perfectionism, it can help to talk to a trusted adult. This could be a parent, teacher, school counselor, or another family member. They can offer support and help you find ways to cope with the pressure you might feel.