Co-dependency facts for kids

Codependency is a term used in psychology to describe a type of relationship where one person supports or "enables" another person's unhelpful behaviors. This might include behaviors like being very immature, not taking responsibility, or not trying their best.

When someone is codependent, they often focus a lot on other people's needs, sometimes forgetting their own feelings. They might try to control or "fix" other people's problems. People who feel they are codependent often have low self-esteem. Codependency can happen in any relationship, not just romantic ones. It can be between friends, family members, or even co-workers.

What is a Codependent Relationship?

In a codependent relationship, there's often an imbalance. One person might always be trying to help or "take care of" the other, even when it's not healthy. This can look like one person making big sacrifices to make the other person happy, or always trying to solve their problems.

Signs of Codependency

Codependent relationships can show up in different ways. Here are some common signs:

• Always Helping Others: You might feel like your main purpose is to help or rescue someone else, even if it means ignoring your own needs.
• Controlling Behavior: Sometimes, trying to "fix" someone can turn into trying to control them or their choices.
• Difficulty with Boundaries: It can be hard to say "no" or to have clear rules about what you are and aren't responsible for.
• Ignoring Your Feelings: You might push down your own emotions or needs because you're so focused on someone else.
• Unhealthy Clinginess: One or both people might feel like they can't be happy or function without the other person. They depend on the other for their happiness.

Why Do People Become Codependent?

Codependency often comes from a desire to be needed or to feel valued. Sometimes, people learn these patterns from their family or past experiences. They might believe that their worth comes from how much they do for others.

How to Have Healthy Relationships

Building healthy relationships means having a good balance. Here are some tips:

• Set Boundaries: Learn to say "no" when you need to, and understand what you are and aren't responsible for.
• Communicate Clearly: Talk openly about your feelings and needs, and listen to others.
• Develop Self-Esteem: Work on feeling good about yourself, separate from what others think or need.
• Focus on Your Own Growth: Have your own hobbies, friends, and goals. It's important to be an independent person.
• Seek Support: If you feel stuck in a codependent pattern, talking to a trusted adult, like a school counselor or parent, can help.

Remember, healthy relationships are about two people supporting each other, not one person constantly sacrificing for the other. It's about mutual respect and allowing both people to grow and be themselves.

See also

In Spanish: Codependencia para niños