Gaslighting facts for kids

Ingrid Bergman from the 1944 movie Gaslight

Gaslighting is a tricky way someone might try to control another person. It's a kind of psychological abuse. The person doing the gaslighting uses lies and tricks. Their goal is to make the other person doubt their own memory or even their mind.

Imagine someone telling you something didn't happen, even though you clearly remember it did. Or they might move your things and then say you lost them. These are examples of gaslighting. It makes the victim feel confused and unsure of themselves.

The word "gaslighting" comes from an old play called Gas Light (1938). It was also made into movies. In the story, a husband plays tricks on his wife. He even dims the gas lamps in their house. Then he tells her she's imagining things. He wants her to think she is going crazy.

What is Gaslighting?

Gaslighting is a slow process. It happens over time. The person doing it slowly makes the victim feel unsure. They might say things like:

• "That never happened."
• "You're imagining things."
• "You're too sensitive."
• "Are you crazy?"

These phrases make the victim question their own thoughts. They might start to believe they are wrong. This can make them feel very alone and confused.

Why Do People Gaslight Others?

People who gaslight often want to feel powerful. They want to control someone else. They might do it to:

• Get their own way.
• Avoid taking responsibility for their actions.
• Make someone dependent on them.
• Feel superior or in charge.

It's important to remember that gaslighting is never the victim's fault. It is a harmful behavior.

How to Spot Gaslighting

It can be hard to know if you are being gaslighted. Here are some signs to look for:

• You often question your own memory or feelings.
• You feel confused or unsure of yourself a lot.
• You apologize often, even when you haven't done anything wrong.
• You feel like you're "going crazy" or losing your mind.
• You make excuses for someone else's behavior.
• You feel isolated from friends and family.

If you notice these signs, it's a good idea to talk to someone you trust.

What to Do if You Experience Gaslighting

If you think someone is gaslighting you, here are some things you can do:

• Trust yourself: Remember that your feelings and memories are real.
• Write things down: Keep a journal of what happened. This can help you remember facts.
• Talk to a trusted adult: Share what's happening with a parent, teacher, counselor, or another adult you trust. They can offer support and advice.
• Set boundaries: Try to limit contact with the person if possible.
• Seek help: A school counselor or a trusted adult can help you understand what's happening. They can also help you find ways to deal with it.

Remember, you deserve to feel safe and respected.

Images for kids

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  Charles Boyer, Ingrid Bergman, and Joseph Cotten in the 1944 film Gaslight

See also

In Spanish: Luz de gas (manipulación) para niños