Tales of St. Austin's facts for kids
Tales of St. Austin's is a book filled with exciting short stories and essays. All of them are about life at a school! This book was written by P. G. Wodehouse. It first came out on November 10, 1903. Most of the stories had already been in popular school magazines like The Captain and Public School Magazine.
The stories take place at a made-up school called St. Austin's. This school also appears in another book by Wodehouse, The Pothunters. The tales are all about fun school activities. You'll read about cricket, rugby, and other adventures. Some characters from The Pothunters also show up in these stories.
Contents
- Stories from St. Austin's
- Essays in the Collection
Stories from St. Austin's
"How Pillingshot Scored"
This story was first published in The Captain magazine in May 1903.
What it's about
Mr. Mellish announces a tough test on Livy (an ancient Roman writer). He warns Pillingshot, who isn't doing well, that anyone scoring less than 50% will be in big trouble. Pillingshot's friend Parker tells him to study, but Pillingshot doesn't want to. Later, Pillingshot learns that another student, Brown, is hurt. Brown was supposed to keep score for the cricket team. Pillingshot volunteers to score for the team instead. This means he will miss the test! Mr. Mellish finds out Pillingshot is going to the cricket match. He realizes Pillingshot has already "scored" a way out of the exam.
"The Odd Trick"
This story appeared in The Captain in August 1902.
What it's about
Philip St. H. Harrison seems friendly but loves to cause mischief. He makes a noisy device from a biscuit tin and pebbles. He uses it to make sounds at night without getting caught. But eventually, Tony Graham, a student leader, catches him. Tony punishes Harrison. A few days later, Harrison acts as an umpire in a cricket game. He makes unfair calls against Tony's team. One morning, Harrison wakes up late for chapel. He doesn't have time to change. So, he grabs a raincoat and rushes off. At chapel, Tony says the raincoat is his and takes it back. Harrison tries to sneak back into his house. But the head of the house, Mr. Merevale, is standing nearby with the Headmaster. Later, Harrison learns the Headmaster wants to see him.
"L'Affaire Uncle John (A Story in Letters)"
This story was first in Public School Magazine in August 1901.
What it's about
This story is told through letters. Richard Venables writes to his brother Archibald. Richard tells him about meeting their Uncle John. Uncle John just returned from diamond mines. Richard went to the train station to meet him. On the way, he saw a man digging holes in the cricket field. Richard and the groundskeeper, Biffen, insulted the man. At the station, Richard couldn't find Uncle John. Biffen later told Richard that the digging man was Uncle John! Richard guessed Uncle John was digging out of habit. Richard's father was worried. He hoped Uncle John would help Richard get a job. But now Uncle John was upset. However, Richard played very well in a cricket match. He impressed Lord Marmaduke Twistleton. Lord Twistleton offered Richard a future job in Scotland. He wanted someone who could play cricket! Richard wanted to play college cricket first, which was perfect. Richard went on to play well for Oxford University.
"Harrison's Slight Error"
This story was in The Captain in January 1903.
What it's about
On a train, P. St. H. Harrison gets snacks. He slowly walks to the back of the train. His friend Mace promised to save him a seat. But another boy, a stranger, takes the seat Harrison wanted. There are no other empty seats. The train starts, so Harrison has to stand. The other boys laugh and won't let Harrison make the stranger move. Harrison realizes he got on the wrong train car. He plans to get revenge on the stranger. The stranger is a new student at St. Austin's. He's even in Harrison's house! At school, Harrison tries to trick the new boy. He tells him to move his things into a room that belongs to Venables, the head of the house. This way, the new boy will get punished. He tells the stranger to move out the furniture already in the room. Later, Harrison is surprised to see Venables and the stranger getting along. They had emptied the room together, just as Harrison suggested. Venables introduces the stranger as his brother. He tells Harrison to move all the furniture back!
"Bradshaw's Little Story"
This story was in The Captain in July 1902.
What it's about
Frederick Wackerbath Bradshaw was a classmate of the person telling this story. Bradshaw was tricky and avoided work. He refused to study for a test on Euripides (an ancient Greek writer). The narrator tells Bradshaw that Mr. Yorke is making the test. The test happens, and Bradshaw does very badly. Their teacher, Mr. Mellish, is shocked by Bradshaw's low score (4 out of 100). But Bradshaw talks to him privately and gets out of trouble. The narrator and two friends try to make Bradshaw tell them how he did it. But their house-master, Mr. Prater, interrupts. He tells Bradshaw to see the Headmaster. Bradshaw goes and soon returns. He has been punished with a "touching up" (which means corporal punishment). Bradshaw is mad at the narrator. He says it's because the narrator told him Mr. Yorke was setting the test. Bradshaw had claimed he saw the test paper in Mr. Yorke's room. He said he didn't realize what it was. He did badly on the test so he wouldn't have an unfair advantage. Mr. Mellish believed him. But the Headmaster heard about it. He knew Bradshaw was lying because *he* had set the test himself!
"A Shocking Affair"
This story was not published before this book. It later appeared in Puffin Post in 1973.
What it's about
The narrator from "Bradshaw's Little Story" tells another tale about Bradshaw. This time, Bradshaw faces a test on Thucydides (another ancient Greek writer). He claims he can avoid it. The narrator bets him sixpence that he can't. Mr. Mellish is surprised when Bradshaw isn't at the exam. The test is hard. After it's over, the narrator follows Mr. Mellish out. Mellish is talking to Monsieur Gerard, the French teacher. They all hear Bradshaw shouting from the Science Museum room. They run to the door, but it's locked from the inside. Bradshaw says he can't open it. Monsieur Gerard gets an electric shock when he touches the handle. The Museum's electric light is on. It's connected to the door's lock, and the electricity has gone wrong. Mr. Mellish also tries but fails to open the door. The science teacher, Mr. Blaize, arrives. He tells Bradshaw to use a piece of paper to slide the lock open. Paper doesn't conduct electricity. Bradshaw does this and opens the door. The Museum is blamed, and Bradshaw doesn't get in trouble. Bradshaw won the narrator's bet! The narrator asks if Bradshaw got a shock when he locked himself in. Bradshaw explains he didn't. He already knew paper was a non-conductor!
"The Babe and the Dragon"
This story was in The Captain in February 1902.
What it's about
Dacre's House and Merevale's House are big rivals. They both want to win the rugby cup. The teams are very even. Both want a Scottish student named MacArthur, known as the Babe, to join their team. The Babe is a great rugby player. He is a day student (he doesn't live at school). But he will soon become a boarder and choose a house. Miss Florence Beezley, called the Dragon, is a friend of the Babe's sister. She visited the MacArthur family before school started. She is very smart and liked to make MacArthur feel silly. She asked him about the teachers at St. Austin's. He said Mr. Merevale was nice but wasn't very kind about Mr. Dacre. At school, Charteris, a student leader in Merevale's House, knows all the school gossip. He runs a secret school newspaper. He tells the Babe that Mr. Dacre is getting married. The Babe is sent on an errand to Mr. Dacre's living room. A tea party is happening there. Miss Beezley is there with Mr. Dacre. Charteris soon confirms that Mr. Dacre is engaged to Miss Beezley. As a boarder, the Babe will be a student leader. He will have to see his house-master often. The Babe joins Merevale's House, and they win the cup!
"The Manoeuvres of Charteris"
This story was in The Captain in August and September 1903. It was much longer than the other stories.
What it's about
In a rugby game, a St. Austin's player, Tony Graham, gets hurt. An opposing player from Old Crockford causes the injury. Tony can't play for a month. To get back at him, Charteris, from Merevale's House, keeps throwing the ball to the bearded player. This makes Prescott, St. Austin's strongest tackler, tackle him hard. The player blames Charteris and threatens revenge. Charteris sometimes goes to Stapleton village. It's off-limits to students. He goes for the fun of breaking rules. Charteris goes to Stapleton to borrow books for Tony. In Stapleton, Charteris sees the bearded player again. Charteris admits he didn't have permission to be there. Charteris rushes back to school, but the player follows him. The man reports Charteris. But Charteris reveals he *did* have permission from Mr. Dacre! The man is defeated. Later, "Babe" MacArthur and Charteris run to Worbury for exercise. There, they hear about races happening in Rutton next week. Rutton is even further away and more off-limits. Charteris decides to compete in a race there.
The Babe, Tony, and Welch try to stop Charteris. They don't want him to risk getting caught in Rutton. Especially since Charteris needs to play in an important rugby match the day after the Rutton races. But Charteris loves breaking rules and goes anyway. The bearded player from Old Crockford is also in the race. Charteris pretends he got permission from Mr. Dacre again. He comes in second place but beats the bearded player. He immediately heads back to St. Austin's before the school gates close. He sees two young men trying to ride a small woman's bicycle. Charteris realizes they stole it from a twelve-year-old girl nearby. Charteris fights off the bullies. Then he returns the bicycle to its owner. She thanks him. She admits she was going to Stapleton without permission. Charteris understands. He rushes to catch his train but misses it. The girl has left on her bicycle. Luckily, Dr. Adamson comes by in a horse-drawn cart. He gives Charteris a ride back to school. The next day, the match between Merevale's and Dacre's happens. Merevale's wins! Afterwards, Charteris's younger helper, Crowinshaw, tells him the Headmaster wants to see him. The Headmaster got a letter from someone who saw Charteris at Rutton. The young cyclist, Dorothy, appears. She is the Headmaster's niece! She says Charteris was the person who helped her. The Headmaster reduces Charteris's punishment to writing ten lines of Virgil (an ancient Roman poet). The Headmaster also tells Charteris that they could get along well if Charteris stopped breaking rules just for fun. They shake hands. Charteris stops breaking school rules after that.
"How Payne Bucked Up"
This story was in The Captain in October 1902.
What it's about
Grey, the captain of St. Austin's main rugby team, is hurt. So Charles Augustus Walkinshaw is acting captain. Payne is likely to get his official team award soon. Walkinshaw thinks Payne is too confident. He believes Payne should be left out of a game or two. This would make him try harder when he plays again. Walkinshaw is actually wrong about Payne. But Grey believes Walkinshaw. Grey suggests they play a game between the main team and the second team. Payne would be captain of the second team. Walkinshaw tells Payne to "buck up" and not be lazy. Payne plays very hard. The game ends in a tie. Two players from the main team get hurt because of Payne. Walkinshaw gets minor injuries. But he is thrilled that Payne has "bucked up." Walkinshaw sets up another game to make Payne try even harder for a future match. In the next game, Walkinshaw gets hurt more seriously. He admits it was because of Payne. With four top players out, Grey makes Payne the captain for the game against Windybury. Grey is annoyed with Walkinshaw. But luckily, St. Austin's wins! Payne gets his team award from Grey.
"Author!"
This story was in Public School Magazine in October 1901.
What it's about
J. S. M. Babington, from Dacre's House, causes trouble in class. The new math teacher, Mr. Reginald Seymour, tells him to come back the next afternoon. He has to do math problems as punishment. Babington gets a letter from his cousin. His cousin, a medical student in London, invites him to a comedy show. Babington writes back, saying yes. He is happy to hear Mr. Seymour plans to take a train to town in the morning. This means Mr. Seymour won't be there to see Babington start his math work. Babington finishes the math problems overnight with help from friends. One friend will pretend to be Babington at roll call. Babington goes to London in the morning. He enjoys the show with his cousin. In the afternoon, Babington's cousin suggests they get food. He introduces Babington to another medical student, Richards. Richards brings a friend who wrote the play. Babington is shocked! The writer is Mr. Seymour! He wrote the play using a different name. Mr. Seymour recognizes Babington. Babington's cousin said he was a student at St. Austin's. Mr. Seymour explains how he knows Babington. Everyone except Babington is amused. However, Babington is not in trouble. Mr. Seymour was only a temporary teacher. His job ended earlier that day!
"The Tabby Terror"
This story was in Public School Magazine in February 1902.
What it's about
Mr. Prater's cat, Captain Kettle, starts eating food in the students' rooms. The students can't do much. The cat is protected by Mr. Prater. Trentham, the head of the House, has his sister, Mrs. Williamson, visit. He asks her to buy the cat from Mr. Prater. Mrs. Williamson has tea with Mrs. Prater. She likes Captain Kettle right away and wants to buy him. But she doesn't want to offer money right after meeting Mrs. Prater. Trentham tells her he will let Mr. Prater know she wants the cat when the time is right. Two weeks later, Trentham goes to a dinner at Mr. Prater's house. He learns the cat is in trouble. Captain Kettle ate the Praters' pet canary! Mr. and Mrs. Prater decide they can't keep the cat. Trentham says his sister would be happy to take him. Mr. Prater agrees to give Captain Kettle to her. Captain Kettle leaves, and the students' food is safe again!
"The Prize Poem"
This story was in Public School Magazine in July 1901.
What it's about
A long time ago, a rich man left money to St. Austin's. This money was for an annual prize. It was for the best poem written by a student in the Sixth Form. The Headmaster chose the topic. Every student in the Sixth Form had to compete. Smith, from the Sixth Form, visits Reynolds, who is sick in the school infirmary. Smith complains about having to write a poem about the College. Reynolds wishes he could compete. He offers to write a poem for Smith. If it wins, Smith will tell the Headmaster that Reynolds wrote it. Smith agrees. Later, Montgomery, another Sixth Form student, finds a copy of Reynolds's unsigned poem. The wind blew it from the infirmary. Montgomery takes the poem and adds two lines to it. Another Sixth Form student, Morrison, gets a copy of the poem from his helper, Evans. Evans also found it near the infirmary. The Headmaster, Mr. Perceval, has his friend Mr. Wells judge the poems. Mr. Wells writes back that a poem by a student named Rogers was the best. He also says that three of the poems start with the same four lines! The Headmaster questions Smith, Montgomery, and Morrison. They all admit they didn't write the poem. Smith explains he can't write poetry at all. The Headmaster understands and lets them go. The rules for the poetry prize are changed. Now, no one has to compete if they don't want to.
Essays in the Collection
The essays in this book were first published in magazines. They are all funny and light-hearted.
"Work"
This essay was in Public School Magazine in December 1900. The writer gives advice to students. He suggests tricks to avoid schoolwork, especially Latin and Greek. He also talks about his own big book coming out soon, which will teach you how to avoid studying! There's some made-up conversation in it.
"Notes"
This essay was in Public School Magazine in February 1901. It makes fun of the many scholarly notes often found in classic books.
"Now, Talking About Cricket—"
This essay was in Public School Magazine in July 1901. It's a funny discussion about being a cricket player or just watching the game.
"The Tom Brown Question"
This essay was in Public School Magazine in December 1901. It shares funny criticisms of an old book called Tom Brown's School Days. It's written as if people are talking about it.